Broken Wings
(By "I can't believe I was inspired by a dream I had" Zarla)
Note: I am not responsible for any mental damage caused by reading this fic.

Although, on a whole, Vincent Valentine's life had not gone according to his plan in any way, for once he felt that he could truly live with himself. Or, if not completely at ease with his inner demons, he could at least negotiate with himself.
The battle was over, the threat to the planet gone. Vincent could sleep now, rest that the one person who had hurt everyone he had ever cared about had been slain by his own claws.
Claws...
He stared at the metallic appendage that remained the lower portion of his left arm and watched a strand of black hair float by in the wind. Perhaps he had rid himself of the inner guilt that had been destroying him so slowly and so surely for so many years, but the physical signs may always remain...so even if he tried to forget mentally, there would always be something to remind him of what happened...what he didn't do and what he should have done.
He shook his head. He had done all he could, he had made every effort to atone for everything he had done...what could he do now...?
Knowing that he could go to sleep again, without the constant nightmares that plagued him, was a deep comfort, but there was another feeling that made him feel lighter then he had for most of his life.
He had somewhere else to go.
After Hojo had entrapped him in the mansion, perhaps leaving him for dead, Vincent never believed he truly belonged anywhere except the old, decrepit building. But...at the end of the entire ordeal, when everyone was going home, when everyone was saying their goodbyes, he had prepared himself fully to ask to be dropped off back at Nibelheim, and found someone else speaking for him.
"Nah, we can take care of Vin. Ain't got nowhere to go an' we'd be glad to have him. He's our friend, right?"
Shera and Cid Highwind. He wasn't sure why they had chosen to be so hospitable to him, but they had given him lodging in their house and their food. He tried to repay this back by helping as much as he could, but he could never shake the intense feeling of gratitude he felt within his heart. Everyone had always shunted him somewhere else, even when he was a child, but now...someone ASKed for his presence...ASKed for him to be there...and it meant a lot to him.
Staring up at the summer sky, clear and bright with small clouds scudding along, he almost felt a smile come to his face.
This made Chaos very unhappy.

~~~
While Vincent slept, the demons found it easier to converse with one another. While Vincent was awake, he would hold his head and try as hard as possible not to hear the other four creatures within him, which would disrupt a lot of their conversations.
This night, while Vincent slept on a pile of blankets that had been placed on the floor, since the Highwind household had no beds and only one couch and he could not have been so presumptious to ask for it, Chaos was silent. The other demons had to sleep as well, but Chaos remained awake, thinking.
Vincent was happy...or, at least, he was coming very close to being so...this was not good. Chaos knew that almost all the power the demons gained was from Vincent's unhappiness, thus why they only appeared at peak moments of stress, pain, or anger. With Vincent contented and without their energy source, the demons would fade from the clear, defined beings they became when they took Vincent's body to soft voices in the back of his mind.
There needed to be pain, to have some kind of stress, some kind of unhappiness in Vincent's life for the demons to continue their existence. They had as much right to his body as he did...they hadn't wished themselves on him and he didn't wish himself on them, but they were stuck this way. Five people in one body, and, as far as Chaos was concerned, it was going to stay that way.
He knew some of Vincent's thoughts, the less guarded emotions and feelings that he would allow to stray to the surface. Even from his inner demons Vincent was secretive and emotionless. The few clues that Chaos got were enough for him to torment the primary owner of the body, but now...he needed something else to make a plan...
He couldn't use Vincent's eyes for fear of waking him up, so he instead decided to use the powers that came to him while he resided in Vincent's mind. Holding out one arm, he pointed his claws upwards. Slowly, a soft light formed inbetween them, then, taking shape just as gradually, it formed into a small, almost holographic model of Cid Highwind.
"Highwind..." Chaos breathed through his fangs, glancing over to see if the other demons were wakened by this display. "The one who makes Vincent feel like he's truly somebody...the one responsible for this happiness..."
Fangs shone dimly in the light coming from the inanimate 3-D picture as Chaos smiled to himself. He wasn't happy with Vincent at the moment...
But he knew how to fix that...

~~~
"Hey, Shera. You know where Cid is?"
The woman held the door open as Cloud walked into the house. She smiled at him. Although he was sometimes a little rash, he was as a whole a good person. And he DID know her captain.
"I think he's out back working on the Bronco with Vincent, Cloud. You should check back there."
"Thanks." Cloud smiled at her and continued on his way through the small house, stepping over the clutter that was constantly strewn across the floor. Shera wandered into the kitchen and prepared to make some tea.

~~~
"Can you tighten this, Vin?"
Vincent leaned into the engine, stretching his left arm almost painfully and sinking one of his claws into the groove of a screw. He gave it a few sharp twists then leaned back to a slightly less painful position.
"Yeah, that's great." Cid continued working, not even looking at Vincent while he spoke. Vincent didn't particularly mind as he didn't want people to look at him in general. Cid was getting into what he was doing and it was showing by the barely controlled smile that was trying to show. "Jus' great, she's goin' to be runnin' smoother then ever now, Vin."
"Good." Vincent struggled to find a position where his back wouldn't ache. He had been hunched down most of the day underneath the hood and it was beginning to take his toll. He had, however, learned more about planes then he probably had in his entire life, which did make up for it. Vincent had always liked mechanical things, probably one of the reasons that Hojo gave him the mechanical monstrosity that was his left arm...well, at least it had it's uses...
"Hey, guys!"
"Th' #$^$ you want?" Cid's tone wasn't even angry, the obscenity slipped into his speech as a matter of habit. Vincent eased himself out of the awkward position underneath the hood of the Bronco at the sound of Cloud's voice. He brushed an idle strand of hair out of his face.
"It's Strife."
Cid turned easily as if he knew this already and leaned gently against the edge of the plane, staring down at the spiky-haired blonde as he struggled to find a way onto the plane with his two companions.
"What brings YOU here?" Cid smiled gruffly at Cloud as he finally managed to find a way onto the plane.
Cloud stared at the two of them silently. Cid was, as he usually was, dressed in his pilot's gear, the main difference being that most of his clothes were spattered with oil and his gloves had turned black from working so long. Vincent, however, had taken the strip of fabric that he had used before to keep the hair from his face and had finall resorted to tying his hair back into a ponytail to keep it from bothering him. The headband had been acceptable when he wasn't leaning over something all the time, but for now, he had it back completely. Yet his hair refused to obey him completely by resting on his shoulder. He had also removed his long cloak, but other then that, he remained the same in appearance. Cloud sighed and shrugged.
"I don't really know how to explain, actually...it's just...I mean, I'm happy and everything but..." Cloud shrugged again, trying to put his feelings into words.
"You're bored as #$^#." Cid smirked. Cloud nodded gratefully that Cid was able to put it so bluntly.
"Exactly...I guess I've been fighting so long that it's hard for me to just STOP like that. So, I guess I was wondering..."
"You want us to come with you, Strife?" Vincent knew that Cloud preferred the two of them as companions, therefore it would have been logical that he would have sought them out first. His suggestion did strike a chord in Vincent, but it was very small. He had fought for what he had to and he was prepared to stop now. Turning to look at Cid, he found that he had a very different look on his face. He sighed as he realized that Cid was, no doubt, equally or more bored with common life as Cloud. Smiling gently, he watched as Cloud looked slightly awkward. For someone who had saved the planet, he did seem awkward around his companions.
"Yeah, actually. Yeah, that's it." He rubbed the back of his head. "That okay with you guys?"
Vincent managed to keep the small smile, one of the first that he had given in a long time. Cloud was, in many ways, still the child that Tifa had left behind.
"Why th' #$^$ not? C'mon, Vin, we can finish the Bronco later. We got some #$@% to kick out of some monsters." Cid turned and smiled at him.
Vincent nodded and turned, heading for his cloak and his gun which he had left in the house. In some ways, Cid was one as well...
As he donned the cape, he thought of himself. And the fact that Cloud's offer had also resonated in him at some level showed him that he wasn't quite as mature as he thought.

~~~
Killing a few monsters wouldn't provide Cid and Cloud with the thrill that Vincent knew the two of them desired from this exercise. They wanted to come close to death, close to danger, and be pushed to their limits at least once. It was that moment in battle when one truly feels alive. Thus why none of them had used any of their healing materia or items.
Vincent was trying mightily to stay upright, although his legs felt weak. It had been a while since he had fought and the latest onslaught, a large group of monsters, had taken him by surprise. A few shots had taken a few of the monsters out, but the rest were still coming. His companions weren't much better off then he was, Cloud was bleeding rather badly from one arm and Cid had a cut on one of his legs.
He could feel Chaos roiling underneath his skin and speaking in his mind, nothing that he could particularly understand. Chaos knew or had created another language that Vincent could not understand, for what purposes he had no idea. He could feel Chaos anticipation and excitement at being allowed to take control once again and he couldn't help but feel a slight sense of revulsion. The knowledge that Chaos had come from a part within him, the dark, evil winged demon who lived only for death and misery, never failed to humble him and remind him of just the monster he was.
Before, Chaos' appearances would be enough to send Vincent into a depression for weeks, or if he was already in one, which he often was, further into it. Although now Vincent felt more at peace, he could feel the familiar self-hatred rising in his soul along with Chaos' power.
Pressure was building at his back, particularly between his shoulderblades.
"This is going to be fun." Chaos finally managed to say something coherent to Vincent, before shutting him away completely. The Vincent that normally inhabited the body was sent to the back of his own mind, completely prevented from seeing or knowing what was going on.
Chaos wasn't usually this restrictive...it worried him a little.
That was the last thought that ran through Vincent Valentine's head for a while.
Chaos began to force his form into Vincent's, tearing his wings free from the cumbersome clothing that Vincent for some reason chose to wear and letting his claws shred through his fingertips. Molding his skull into his own visage, Chaos found that taking control this time was easier...perhaps Vincent's peace had contributed to that. So it DID have one positive factor.
Flapping his wings slowly, Chaos surveyed the battle field, noting that Highwind didn't even seem to notice the change, although Strife chanced a look every now and then.
Chaos singled out one of the monsters as his target. Making sure it was clear that he was going to attack that monster, he made the gestures for a spell and then stopped halfway.
He was able to continue the spell within his head, but he made it look as if he were shocked. The whirling noise of a Confusion spell raged in the air around him, but Chaos was immune to his own spells.
He slowly spun in place, barely able to contain the laughter building within him that wanted so badly to be released.
Noting the recently cast spell near the vicinity of the winged demon, Cid shouted angrily. "#%$@! Cloud, cast-"
With grim certainty, Chaos moved towards Cid, trying to keep a maniacal glimmer in his eyes. Cid backed away slightly, not sure of what to say. He wasn't afraid. Yet.
"Vin...?"
Chaos couldn't resist speaking, just once. "There is no Vincent Valentine. There is only Chaos."
With a hissing screech, Chaos lunged forward towards the blonde pilot, claws extended towards him.
With a gasp of surprise, Cid threw himself to one side, barely managing to avoid the demon's strike at him. With unholy speed, it pivoted on one foot and turned to face him again, hatred shining within it's crimson eyes.
"Cloud! Do somethin'!"
It wasn't going to miss this time. Chaos raised one arm above it's head and feinted to one side. Just as he had suspected, Cid dodged the other way, just as Chaos had planned. With a lightning fast movement, the claws descended.
Cid still managed to dodge backwards, so the strike that had been intended for his throat missed by a few inches, instead taking him full across the face.
The feeling of flesh tearing, claw scraping against bone, and blood spattering on it's body made Chaos laugh madly, unable to contain the joy that had built at this crucial action. With this, he had destroyed any chance that Vincent had at happiness...with this, he had guranteed his existence forever...
There was a sharp pain at the back of Chaos' head and he lost consciousness, wings fluttering helplessly as he thudded to the ground. Cloud lowered his sword and pulled out his PHS.
"Anyone available, come quickly! There's been an accident..."

~~~
Chaos' claws were different from monster's claws. Although Cid had been injured before, the extent had never been this bad. He spent almost two weeks in the hospital, beyond the help of materia or simple healing medicines, the upper part of his head wrapped in bandages. Most of the time he was in a coma. Shera spent every day there with him, sitting beside his bed and waiting patiently for him to wake.
Vincent could barely bring himself to go to the hospital. He had never felt such loathing for himself as now. He hated himself with a passion that exceeded anything living. He had wounded the one who had shown him kindness...the one reason why he was still alive and not locked within his coffin, the one reason he had ever begun to feel true peace...he had attacked him...
Chaos had told him that...he had blamed Chaos for the tragedy, but Chaos used it's sibilant voice and quiet logic to remind Vincent that Chaos was, after all, part of him. Chaos was Vincent...which simply meant that Vincent had done it, had been aware of it, so it was no one else's fault but his own.
He stared at his claw, his scarlet eyes constantly finding blood spatters on the golden metal, blood spatters from friendly skin...he tried to wash his claw but he found he could never truly be free of the stain he had caused, which now seemed so permanent...he had created it, he knew that, but he could do nothing about it...it was there, the blood was on his hands, and he could not rid himself of it.
They tried as hard as they could, all the doctors, to keep Cid alive as first priority. However, with his life came a price.
Due to the extensive damage to the nerves in and around his eyes, Cid Highwind was now permanently blind.
The bandages were removed and his face had healed surpisingly well, excepting for a few things. Mainly, three long slashes down his face, one over each eye and one down the center of his face. They were a sickly reddish-black, a sign of Chaos' inner poison making itself known in his injuries.
When told the sad news, Cid could not speak. He could not find any words to describe how he felt and in the end only curled on one side, burying his hands in his hair and struggling within him to accept this information. Shera felt she could do nothing, correctly assuming that if she tried to verbally console him, he would attack her to blame her for what had happened.
She touched his shoulder gently, watched it shiver underneath her fingers, and whispered a soft "I'll be back later" before she left.
Hearing the soft click of the door behind her, Cid struggled to accept what had happened. Blind...? Blind...this can't be true...
The full ramifications of what had happened hadn't fully occured to him yet...he knew his eyes were open because it pinched the scars over his eyes painfully, but he saw nothing...this didn't register in his mind. Nothing was registering...this couldn't be happening, this couldn't be true...the last thing he could have seen couldn't have been red eyes and black claws. That couldn't have been the last thing...there couldn't have BEEN a last thing...
If it was the sky...that would be more fitting...
The realization struck him with such force he almost recoiled physically. Without his sight...he couldn't fly.
He made a strangled noise as his body tried to decide whether to rip something apart in anger or to collapse into helpless tears. Unable to resolve this, he remained in limbo, unable to vent his feelings in anyway, leaving him feeling unresolved and hurt.
He could never fly again...he'd never see the sky, the clouds...his planes...he'd never see Shera or Vincent or any of the others ever again...he was handicapped...
He was weak now...people were going to have to help him...he hated that...he hated people helping him...he helped people, not the other way around...but now...now...
He could feel a tear falling from one his dead eyes as he remained curled on his side, unable to think of anything to do or any way to react to what happened.

~~~
Vincent looked up at Shera as she walked down the hallway, her face downcast and serious. He had been sitting in one of the chairs in the waiting room, brooding over his act. He spent most of his time doing that now.
"How is he...?"
Shera rubbed her eyes for a few moments, sighing deeply.
"Vincent...Cid's....Cid's gone...blind."
Vincent blinked for a few moments, staring at her own tear-filled eyes. It took a few moments for what she had said to register with him, to find their meaning within his heart, but within a few seconds he knew what he had truly done...not only injured the person who had cared enough to take him in...he had taken away everything he had ever cared about. He lowered his head, placing his flesh hand and his claw on top of his hair, wishing that this had not happened, that he had heard incorrectly. "Oh god....this is all my fault..."
Shera sat down next to him, holding her own head in her hands. "Don't feel bad, Vincent...you were confused...and it wasn't you, it was that demon..."
"Chaos..." Vincent's voice was soft and almost silent. "Chaos IS me..."
"You are who you are, Vincent...that demon isn't you..." Shera took a deep breath and then stood abruptly. "I...have to go...think for a while. I'll be okay, I'll just be back in a little while."
Vincent nodded almost imperceptibly as he could hear her footsteps echoing away down the hallway.
Blind...
He sunk his claws into his head, wishing he could die that very moment. "What have I done...?"

~~~
"Highwind...?" He barely whispered his words as he gently pushed the door inwards, cautiously as if expecting a monster to jump out at him. He waited for a few moments, shifting the slight weight he was holding with his other arm. He knew that he could never, ever atone for this, but he wanted there to be some tangible sign of his attempt to apologize, so he went with the only thing he could think of. Some kind of gift, anything...
"Highwind...? Are you awake...?"
He wasn't surprised that he hadn't answered him. His voice was so soft, so shamed and so quiet, that he was surprised that he himself could hear it. He kept his eyes focused on the floor, almost not wanting to see the pilot's reaction to him. He knew at one point, however, that he would have to look up, to see those piercing blue eyes, now forever ruined because of him...
"Highwind...?"
He finally opened the door entirely, standing awkwardly. Already, he felt that he should leave, that he shouldn't even be here...what was he doing here...?
His answer was sitting at the window, slouching horribly so that he could see his spine through the thin hospital gown, staring at the general direction of the sky, where the sun was shining brightly. He had his arms wrapped around himself and was just staring silently.
"Highwind, I..." Vincent took a step into the room, trying to make his voice loud enough to be heard. He saw Cid visibly twitch and turn in his general direction, his eyes focusing at his face where the sound had come from, the horrible reddish-black scars running across them.
Vincent swallowed hard and looked down, unable to meet those blue eyes, toying with the flowers that he was holding idly. "Highwind, I'm..."
"Vin." Cid stood, his back straightening as he stood somewhat awkwardly, moving in his general direction.
"Highwind, I'm sorry." Vincent finally managed to get out the words he had meant to say originally. Cid walked slowly towards him and Vincent still couldn't match his gaze, keeping his fixed on the floor. "I never, never intended for this to happen...it..."
He wanted to say that it was Chaos' fault, but...he couldn't shift the blame to someone else...because as Chaos always seemed to remind him...Chaos WAS him...
"I..."
"Vin..." Cid stopped moving, only a few feet away from him. "Vin, why...?"
Vincent didn't know how to answer and his voice caught in his throat. "Highwind, I never wanted to...it wasn't...Chaos was..."
"Why the #$^@ are you here!?" Cid shouted at him angrily, his voice cracking. Vincent had been shouted at by the pilot before, but his voice had never been so strained, hiding so much. "Why?!"
"Highwind, I wanted to apologize, I-"
"God#$^#in' #$^#it Vin how the #$^#in' #$^# are you goin' to apologize for THIS?!" Cid raised a hand to his face, running his fingers across the scars that went halfway down his cheek and halfway up his forehead. "How the #$^#in' #$^# can you even try!?"
"Highwind, I know, I know, I know I don't deserve-"
"God #$^# you, Vin!" Cid balled his fists up, shaking with fury. "God#$^# you, you took the only #$^#in' thin' I ever #$^#in' love away from me!"
Vincent backed away, not knowing how to respond, the small bouquet of flowers falling to the floor with a rustling noise. He held up his hands, not sure of what else to do. Cid was advancing on him. "Highwind, please listen to me, it was Chaos and he was confused, I had no control-"
"#$^# control!" Cid thrust out with his arms, pushing Vincent awkwardly to one side as he tried to push him over without sight. "#$^# your god#$^# #$^#in' control, you #$^#in' &#%#$@$!"
Vincent kept backing away, listening to the demons in his head snickering and laughing at him as he tried to keep his emotions under control. He was hurting from what Cid had said, he had never called him things like that before, but he didn't know what else to do. He had to calm Cid down, he was hysterical, it was reasonable...
It's deserved...Chaos' smug voice interceding with his own thoughts.
Cid was coming after him actively now, his sightless eyes focusing in his direction, but never on Vincent's eyes, his small body shaking with fury and emotion as he tried to find Vincent, who had backed away and become silent. With every sweep of his hands he seemed to get more infuriated, and Vincent watched as he shut his eyes in frustration, pressing his wrists into them so hard that Vincent couldn't help but move forward in an attempt to stop him. Cid sank to the ground on his knees, trying to keep the pressure consistent as he began hissing between his teeth.
Vincent couldn't stay silent in the face of such agony. He knelt down, inching closer to the wounded pilot, not sure of what to expect.
"Highwind, please, don't do this to yourself-"
"Get away from me!" Cid lashed out angrily, striking Vincent across the face unintentionally as he scrambled away. "Get the #$^# away from me, Vin! I hate you! I hate you, you #^#%in' #$^#@$@, how could you do this to me!? How could you DO this to me?!"
Vincent really was crying now, and not because he had been hit. He didn't even bother to inspect what had happened because of the strike, only backing away from Cid sharply and curling into a ball, clutching his arms. "Highwind, please-"
"Don't #$^#in' Highwind me, you...you..." Cid was trembling, his voice dropping in volume. "God#$^#it Vin...god#$^# you...I can't even see you..."
"Don't do this..." Vincent struggled to keep any emotion out of his voice while tears fell from his scarlet eyes. "Please..."
"Go away..." Cid crawled across the floor until he felt the hospital bed and pulled himself up onto it, curling into a ball amidst the blankets. "Go away, Vin...jus' go away..."
Vincent didn't know what else to do except obey. He stood silently and began walking, accidentally kicking the bouquet as he did so. Stopping, he stared at the forgotten gift, thinking. Looking back to the shivering form of the pilot, he knelt and picked up the flowers, moving silently back towards the bed. He put the flowers on the table nearby, and then took his leave, tonguing the area in his mouth where he had been hit as he wiped away his tears quietly and effectively with his human hand.
"If you want me to, Highwind..." He whispered before he shut the door behind him. He began walking, in any direction, not even thinking of a location to head for, just to try and get his mind off of what had happened...
He tasted iron in his mouth. He was bleeding.
That's what he deserved.

~~~
The fury and anger that Cid had displayed had been channeled from despair and frustration, and were now taking their native forms. Cid was shivering underneath the blankets, not because he was cold, but because of the intensity of the emotions he had expressed.
"$#^$...I hit Vin..." He mumbled to himself, trying to keep his mind off of what was to be a permanent handicap, his mind instantly rationalizing that he had his eyes closed. "I didn't mean to...poor #$^#..."
Frustration was again replaced by anger. "It was his own #$^# fault, this is ALL his fault..."
But deep inside his heart he knew that wasn't true. Vincent had told him about the demons that plagued his mind, had told him how they made him do things or told him things, and took over his body whenever someone pushed him far enough...he had told Cid all of this, like the many things he had told the pilot. Vincent trusted him...he trusted him enough to tell Cid that he thought he was going crazy because of the voices in his head...
He trusted him...because Cid was his only friend. They both seemed to know this and never awknowledged it verbally. It was feasible that it had been Chaos that had wounded him, not Vincent at all...he had no right to be angry at Vincent...
But he wanted to be angry at SOMEthing...ANYthing...just to let out all this repressed emotion...
Gripping the blankets tightly between white knuckles, Cid hissed and shivered, unable to decide a course of action, but with each passing moment getting more and more tense.

To Be Continued...